” I hold the line, the line of strength that pulls me through the fear “

-Peter Gabriel

Fear. What an interesting feeling. What a powerful force.

There’s lots to be said about fear. Many, many people have discussed it, written about it, defeated it, surrendered to it, embraced it, punched it in the face, hated it. All sorts of things.

The topic of fear is well worn. It’s like a wall of graffiti, everyone has made their their mark.

However, seeing as it affects nearly all of us in some way or another the subject is open to all who live and breath.

Thus, here is My Meeting with Fear:

It snuck up on my heals like a snake. I was cautious of it’s potential presence, I was on the look out. Yet, somehow, it just emerged, from a covert crevice, and landed it’s fangs into my achilles heal.

FEAR GETS US WHERE WE ARE MOST VULNERABLE, UNSURE, INSECURE AND EGO CENTERED.

MAN, THAT EGO! THAT INSECURITY! THAT NOT QUITE OPEN, TRUE VULNERABILITY.

You get the point.

FEAR CAN BITE.

AND WHEN IT DOES, IT OFTEN TAKES A LOT OF STRENGTH TO GET IT TO LET GO.

Here I am, in London, waiting to start my course and finishing up the Summer when POW!

Enter the FEAR. Thumbing through my research book millions of little pesky, rude, mean, scary, harmful, judgmental and l might add untrue thoughts came floating in.

Or maybe it was more like a deluge, a torrent, a barrage.

FEAR GRIPPED me, and IT WOULDN’T LET GO.

I won’t go into detail about why FEAR FOUND me as A TARGET, but here’s the gist:

I’ve traveled 5,318 miles from home to a foreign country to begin a new school funded by faith and gumption and fierce, loving support, not to mention the United States government and the kind people at Great Lakes.

I’m seeing those I had begun my first year of school with now as graduating seniors, while I start from scratch (I’m actually quite excited about this and very excited and proud of all those who are doing amazing things in their final year).

And now, I’m sitting on the floor, with all of these images collected over the summer in front of me and I’m thinking

WTF?!

WTF HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?

KNOW THE FEELING?

THE FEELING OF RISK AND THE POUNDING RUSH OF AIR AROUND YOU AS YOU JUMP?

Well, the answer to wondering what the heck I’ve gotten myself into is this:

LIFE. (I’ve gotten myself) FARTHER AND DEEPER INTO LIFE.

BUT IT’S NOT EASY TO STAND TALL AND TRUST WHEN YOUR LEGS ARE THROBBING FROM THAT SNAKE BITE AND YOU ARE WONDERING WITH ALL YOU HAVE WHAT YOU’VE DONE WITH ALL YOU HAVE.

SO, HERE’S SOME SUPPORT FOR THE TRAIL YOU’RE WALKING, WHAT I’VE BEEN USING DURING MY TRAVELS.

Rob Bell’s Podcast on Life and Death and Vegetables. So good, perfect for vegetarians.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Magic Lessons Podcast. It’s just magical.

Peter Gabriel’s San Jacinto

DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE FEAR, PLEASE DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE RISKS AND THE FEAR THAT THOSE  BRAVE CHOICES, TRUE ACTIONS AND FAITHFUL LEAPS MIGHT STIR UP.

JUMP.

WALK THE TRAIL.

FIND THE LINE.

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